Happier

Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment by Tal Ben-Shahar, Ph.D. is a New York Times Best Seller by a professor that taught what became the most popular class on positive psychology, at Harvard University.

I have shared that I will be writing about several books that I have read on this topic and pull the

ideas or thoughts that are unique to the specific book.  Tal Ben-Sharar, Ph.D. references several of the other books, but what I like about his book first and foremost is that he provides exercises at the end of each chapter that you can try to experience what he is writing on.

He starts by defining happiness as “the overall experience of pleasure and meaning.”  It is easy to experience pleasure, but to experience a sense of purpose we must set goals for ourselves that are intrinsically motivated.  Tal Ben-Sharar, Ph.D. writes, “The goals need to meaningful and the journey they take us on needs to be pleasurable for them to bring about a significant increase in our happiness.”

Without fail, one of my friends will ask me if I am happy as if happiness is a binary term.  For those of you that are not familiar with this computer term it just means that happiness is either on or off.  First, if I were or knew how to be perfectly happy then I wouldn’t be reading all this material and studies.  I have good days and bad days without going into too much detail.  Life can be hard!  The question that Tal asks is “How can I become happier?”  He follows this up by writing that the question acknowledges the nature of happiness and the fact that its pursuit is an ongoing process best represented by an infinite continuum, not a finite point.  We should strive to be happier with each passing day, month, or year.

The final thing I will share with you is the four archetypes that Tal Ben-Shahar, Ph.D. describes in his happiness model.  He positions the archetypes in their quadrant based on the present and future benefit or detriment that is their outcome.  The first is the hedonist archetype that focus on enjoying in the present but don’t care about the consequences of their actions in the future.  The second is the rat racer which is me, I work hard in the present for some anticipated gain in the future.  The third is the nihilist and describes someone that doesn’t care about life and neither enjoys the moment or has a sense of future purpose.  Finally the happiness archetype, they believe that the enjoyment in the present will also lead to a fulfilling future.

I suggest you look into the MPS (Meaning, Pleasure, Strengths) model to find your calling.  This is meant to be a teaser as it is described in the book.

I will leave you with one final thought that Tal Ben-Shahar, Ph.D. shared and the poets he quoted.  We can be our worst enemy and create the world with which we blame.  Our attitude toward the events in our lives will decide if we want to be sad or happy.  Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, “To different minds, the same world is a hell, and a heaven.”  Hamlet’s claim that “there is nothing either good or bad but thinking it makes it so” can be accurate.  What will you choose to focus on?